hildeguardog's Diaryland Diary



I guess you could say it started last December, but we knew it had been happening long before we made the initial discovery. We were the local kids. We were Me(Scott), Mike, whom we referred to plainly as M, and Zachary, also known as the Sack. It was that one day that was right smack in between my Mother’s birthday and Christmas.

So on December 17th, we headed out to ambush “the Geek” after we finished our Christmas shopping. It was an odd shopping trip, considering we were all out to buy gifts for the same neighbors daughter that we were individually trying to impress(I got her a Barrel of Monkeys).

As cliché as this may sound, it is all true: the trip to “the Geeks” house involved going through a dark and mysterious forest, where our good friend Ranger Larry worked. We called Larry LJ, and he called himself L Niño. Now Larry was on the special side, if you see where I’m going. He drove an old blue Volkswagon beetle with rust along the edges and paint that was chipping left and right. There was a light on top of the car, the kind undercover cops have incase it becomes necessary.

We went to the Main Lodge/Information Center to say hello to LJ. “Larry didn’t show up today” is what the guy behind the desk told us. This was a bit out of the ordinary Larry never misses work. He can’t distinguish between when he’s sick and when he isn’t, so he never has a valid excuse. We thanked the guy, and the three of us headed out.

We got about a quarter of a mile into the woods when Mike turned to me to talk:

“Something is very wrong...”

“What is it?” I replied duly.

“Sack... where is he?”

“Oh NO!”

We decided to follow the trail back. We got about 20 feet when we found what looked to be freshly dripped blood. The blood theory was disregarded when Mike spotted an open bottle of ketchup nearby. We kept going, but only for a minute more. There was Sack, on his knees, crying.

“Sorry guys, I ran into this tree a little bit ago, and I tried to get your guys attention, but I couldn’t talk. I don’t know why. Maybe just because my forehead was in so much pain. I think someone might’ve tripped me...”

“Are you saying we aren’t alone?” I replied. I was already horrified that some kind of child molester might be out here, trying to get us. Or worse, one of those clowns that lures you into his car with candy, and--

“Oh, um, yeah... about that... I’m sorry I tripped you, Sack, it just seemed like the perfect opportunity.” said Mike timidly. Mike really can be an asshole sometimes.

I decided for all of us that now was a good time to sit down and relax. It was only 4 o’clock, and already it was beginning to get dark. After about 10 minutes, we were ready to just turn around and go home. We got up, wiped the snow off of the back of our pants and slowly began to turn around. The way we were turning around was dramatically slow, as if the author were foreshadowing something terrible to happen.

With our about face complete, I started to take a step forward, not realizing that my two buddies were horrorstruck. It took me a second to realize what was going on, but I was staring the dreaded Abominable Snowman right in the eye! He had a devastatingly angry look on his face. The kind of look someone has on their face when you know they are going to kill you. My first intention was to turn around and run as fast as I could without regard for Mike and Sack, hoping to escape with a story to tell, but something inside me was saying “Let’s just see where this is going.”

The ferocious Snowman, whom I swore was about to eat me, burst out laughing! “What’s going on?” was the one sentence that was running all over my mind.

“What’s going on?” I finally said out loud to break the drought of noise between the three of us.

The Snow-guy introduced himself: “Oh hi, I’m Quagland, I live here. What’re you guys doing here?”

“Oh.” I said. “We were on our way to bury someone in snow, and we took a break.”

“I understand... so do you kids plan on leaving anytime soon? I don’t mean to be rude, but I’m abominable, meaning I hate everything, you included.”

Sure, we’ll just be going” I said as I winged a snowball straight for his head. I started to spring, but my foot got caught in a root that was coming out of the ground. I fell down, like a chump. I looked back to see how much of my friends the snowman had eaten. Mike was walking towards me, laughing, and Sack and Quagland were both hugging, crying into each others shoulders. Sack was still in pain from the whole tree incident, and Quagland’s nose was broken.

Quagland accepted my apology, and we headed home. On the way, we found LJ lying face down in the snow. There was blood everywhere, and no ketchup bottle to suggest it was anything but blood. We didn’t want to become suspects if a case was ever made out of his death, so we thought it best to just walk past it.

8:23 p.m. - Tuesday, Oct. 14, 2003


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