hildeguardog's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hopeful for Being Hopeless I used to look back after just celebrating New Years at a friends house and laugh at people who didn't have a good time. The people who stayed home, or were uncomfortable with what they did. Now I'm one of them. And even if I do go to Dannys, or if he comes here, it won't be like any other year. This year is nothing like any other year. This is the year I am crossing over from whatever I was before, to staying home on a night of celebration. I feel like shit, but I'm clean, so I guess that's a plus. But not when you have no one to share it with. My options are: Go to Annelises(damn, I forgot how to spell), Call Danny, Sleep, rent a movie, go get dinner by myself, or stay online. I would go to Annelises, but I feel bad about always being around them. I would also go if I had someone to go with, so I could hang out with them and not have to bother anyone that didn't want to be bothered. Actually, sleeping is probably my favorite choice. If Micah didn't hate me I could go there. Too late for anything now. I think I'll just write all night. Tonight is another "should i kill myself?" night. 7:47 p.m. - Tuesday, Dec. 31, 2002 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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