hildeguardog's Diaryland Diary

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Everyone Learns.

I'm not the same person as I was when I was happy. Seems these days that I don't take much regard for my health or my conscience. Like a gardener I'm working on growing my future-- I'm growing the balls to be able to call an end for myself, by myself.
It's implied that someone will get hurt. I don't need to hear that from anybody. There will always be someone-- and it could be anyone-- that will assume responsibility, no matter how little they had to do with it.
So here: say I make some big, brave, rash decision before talking to anybody-- you know whose fault it'd be? My own. I wouldn't consider myself selfish at all. You see, with all the people I've met, I've only been a positive influence to maybe two of them. Isn't that kind of ridiculous? So you've gotta figure that I'm not needed around here much longer.
Can everyone agree that awkward situations aren't good ones? I've been told that I'm good at being awkward, I've been called 'that awkward boy,' and those are just two examples. Why not cleanse Chicago's northside of a whole bunch of awkwardness that's kept inside me alone?
That's one solution.

1:20 p.m. - Thursday, Mar. 24, 2005

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