hildeguardog's Diaryland Diary


Second update of recent

I just got off the phone with Danny after a conversation that lasted something like 2 hours. We talked about life and death, and how we probably won't be remembered, personality-wise, maybe as soon as 15 years after we're dead, with interest slowly waning down until then, when it becomes obsolete. I brought up Big Fish, and how that guy lived his life as completely as anybody. I decided that before I die I am going to write my memoirs, but following the style Dave Eggers did over the typical, boring way. But I look forward to death, now, because after your heart stops there are supposedly about 12 minutes of "brain power" left, leaving you in an unconscious state almost exactly like sleep. But think, real dreams have been known to last about 2 or 3 minutes at the most, and they still seem long enough to almost convince yourself that it was real. So for 12 minutes you will be dreaming, which will seem like an eternity because of how much longer it is than a usual dream. So this is probably the cause of the infamous "I saw my life flash before my eyes" line you always hear in movies and from people with near-death experiences... or from people recently abducted by aliens. But anyways, this is really comforting for me. The last thing I will do is dream, and it couldn't be any more perfect for me. I had been wondering about what your last feeling would be, besides numbness. I know there would be nothing to feel when I am dead, because of the obvious lack of life, but it's still hard to grasp the concept that there will be no more emotions or feelings or pain or pleasure or fear, or even looking forward to the next time you'd be awake. You will be as alive as a rock, and so will I.

11:40 p.m. - Thursday, Feb. 26, 2004


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