hildeguardog's Diaryland Diary

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When I get scared, I emit a different kind of fear, I think.

I don't think I get scared much. Or often. Maybe my listening to music to put me to sleep is a problem. Maybe while I'm busy indulging in that fantastic CD I could instead be thinking there's something, or someone in my closet, and keep my eyes closed as long as I can, hoping it won't eat me. That used to work when I was younger. Although it backfired when I was too afraid to go to the bathroom. That's a tough thing to fall asleep with. But when I do get scared, I subconsciously hold it in as best I can(there's a distinct difference between scared and surprised). I have the same problem with showing excitement for things. I've already gone over this many a time in this place, so I don't need to explain it again. I really wonder how I would react in some kind of a life or death situation. Would I keep calm? Who knows. As much as I want to know, I'm not that anxious to finding out.

8:41 p.m. - Monday, Oct. 20, 2003

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