hildeguardog's Diaryland Diary

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Reading: Neon Bible

Back when this girlfriend was a promising prospect, Megan told me not to go planning any weddings. "Ha ha," I thought. I asked her out on the 19th of January, so it's been about three weeks. The initial excitement has died a bit, I admit, but I can't envision myself happier with anyone else. I don't know what I'd do without her, really. I don't have that core group of friends that was present the past few years(especially during summers) and I don't think I'll have one this summer. I've distanced myself from drinking and smokeables-- two key common points between me and many of my friends.
I was kind of hesitant to see her on Sunday night, but it wasn't like I had anything better to do. I don't have much variation in my life right now... I read a lot, I work a decent amount, or I'm sleeping or with Girlfriend. The past week been filled with the thought that there's something between us. I've been somewhat distant, which I'd expect since this time of year always gets me down-- not very easy to explain to a significant other, though.
A spat occurred last Wednesday night, known as "Ash Wednesday" to those participating. I was duped into going to a most egregious session at St. Clement's and I naturally turned to this girlfriend of mine to vent my frustration with religion. instead of an open ear, I get reluctance to believe what she's hearing. Aware and impressed that I was raised Catholic, she was taken aback by my lack of enthusiasm(and by "lack of enthusiasm" I'm referring to my disgust) for the Catholic church. Instead of my nerves being nice and calm for me to sleep on, I hang up even more agitated than when I had called her.
I go to her apartment Saturday and order a pizza. The television is tuned to Women's Entertainment and programmed is a showcase of three couples sharing their journey towards wedding.
"Have you thought about it?" after a while of zoning out to an uncomfortable show.
"Have I thought about what?" is my obviously purposefully ignorant response.
I usually bail when this kind of circumstance presents itself, but I think I'll hang around and play out this relationships with the chance I never gave some of the others.

3:08 p.m. - Tuesday, Feb. 12, 2008

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