hildeguardog's Diaryland Diary



I don't get it. I was looking up at the sky, listening to Konstantine while my dog drank water, and being introspective in the cheesy way. Really, though: I don't get it. If the stars I see aren't stationary and are actually traveling at great speeds-- only appearing stable because of the great distance between us-- or maybe burned out and, thus, stopped traveling, long ago... Well that makes me think that the 85 years that I'll live are to be spent in a minuscule eternity, then is using college in a "takes money to make money" and then settling on a challenging and lucrative(but otherwise meaningless) job just a frame of reference to later generations looking back, meanwhile serving me, per se, as busy work? I often feel like school is a trick. Yes, it'd be nice to learn biology-- but the manner it's taught in is so tedious. It's similar to what the current democrats are accused of... They started their election campaigns so early that it's said they're trying to exhaust the minds of every American, in regard to the election(as opposed to entirely, which would be a little more difficult).
I've been feeling more and more like myself. I'm really glad I put the glasses back on and stopped the consumption. For better or worse, I feel like I'm back in some old mindsets(girl-wise). It's strange. I have a Konstantine(I think, unless I didn't get the point of that song), but there's an action that needs acting on, and I'm not sure when or if I'll be able to do it. Geographically speaking, now is not the time. Neither is next semester, nor a year from now... so when? Am I just dreaming this whole thing? Will it ever materialize?
Then there's my more immediate mindset, which wants emotional and tangible comfort, and has manifested the necessary emotions in an old friend.
Back to time, though... I find the recording of music odd, just as I find the posting of a blog entry odd. Say I make a song, and it's exactly two minutes long. I edit the song, I add a few instruments and make the vocals sound bigger... when it's done, that two minutes of time is exactly how I want it to sound, and can stay that way as long as it's preserved. Similar with this entry... If I cared to edit it until it reached my standards of perfection, then Wednesday, October 10th, at 2:35 in the AM, I'd have a spot marked in my history as having posted perfection at exactly that minute.
Just kidding. I know time is only a frame of reference to everyone both here and there.
Tomorrow I'm moving out of this house(heard that before).

2:35 a.m. - Wednesday, Oct. 10, 2007


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