hildeguardog's Diaryland Diary


This is getting over Santa.

Holiday Compilation:
I am in a band temporarily called Christian Erection. We're between names, actually. A few weeks ago I got the brilliant idea to come up with a fake track-listing for my band. Danny is in my band and the names of our songs made him laugh.
1. God, I Want To Bone Your Daughter-in-Law
2. All This Bible-Study Has Given Me A Hard-on
3. What Do You Mean You've Got A Bone To Pick For Me?
4. Jesus Eats Faggots For Breakfast
Rob named that last one. Anyhow, I was lying in bed trying to do some notes for U.S. History but I couldn't stop piecing words together. What would soon assume the name of track one had part of a chorus down:
Father, you're her father-in-law
let me do the honors
let me do Mary
Merry Christmas in just nine months

I'm no lyricist, so this was easily the best I had ever written. I threw some more words together and am still working on putting it to some chords I pieced together a week and a half ago.
Our first band practice was this past Saturday. I had slept over at Aaron's on Friday night, actually staying up most of the night playing Halo 2. Well, to avoid anymore unnecessary words, Aaron came to practice. The same night I wrote the song about banging Mary, Danny had played me a song he wrote over the phone. He had an idea for the lyrics but nothing was set. He played his part and we came up with a second guitar part, and these words soon followed:
I made my list
checked it twice
to find I don't exist
isn't that nice?

It's from Santa's perspective, realizing he doesn't exist. Later on Danny sings about a child's mother lying to him all his life and getting depressed as fuck for doing so.
Anyways, Aaron wasn't just gonna sit there and watch, especially after reading Rock Guitar for Dummies, so he grabbed the amp and an electric guitar and messed around with a solo. Aaron's soloing made the song. The first time we ran through it all the way through, all playing, it sounded fucking amazing. We could carry out the breakdown forever, if we wanted to, and Aaron's solo would keep everyone's interest. I now have a tape of that song, recorded onto a tape player with one tiny microphone built in, sitting behind me.
So here's the deal: Danny and I are gonna put out a holiday/winter-themed compilation featuring any local bands interested. So far we've got our one song, maybe a second, some ska band from Danny's school, and Walrus, if we can convince them.

That's my life. The only things catching my attention are music-related. Last Friday I played Ben Gibbard's Carolina and Alkaline Trio's All on Black(because I couldn't learn Avril's Complicated on time) with Joann. She then played Chris Hatem's song about Doug Funny loving Patty Mayonnaise. Such a good song. The next coffeehouse is December 15th, if I'm not mistaking it with the real date. I'll be playing in a band with Henry and Joann and Will Church, if he takes up drums again, and Brian, if someone can convince him. We'll be playing Short Stories with tragic Endings, by From Autumn to Ashes, and A Plain Morning by Dashboard. We'll be good. I know we will. But that won't be enough for me. I wanna play a few songs on my own. I'm thinking of playing Boy Destroyers(Hey Mercedes), Last Ride Home(Cutthroat Trout) and Snake Oil Tanker(Alkaline Trio).
Oh, and Bobby is a genius. He said so in my guestbook.

5:22 p.m. - Monday, Nov. 22, 2004


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